Things I've had to say...

Barbies are not pogo sticks.

Please take your sister off the leash.

No, picking your nose with your toes is not a neat trick.

Take that fly swatter out of your mouth.

(Don't worry it was a brand new never used fly swatter, but still...)

What's the weirdest thing you've had to say this week?

Things I've had to say: The Bathroom Edition

Potty seats are NOT hats! Take that off right now!

No you absolutely cannot ever pee in our cups at home. I mean it!

No, the baby definitely doesn't go through the poopy maze (intestines) before he comes out.

Can I please, please, PLEEEAAASSSEE go to the potty in private?!?

Things I've had to say...

Get your lollipop off the window.

That little minivan is for Barbie to sit in, not YOU!

Just tell your feet to talk quietly please.

No, you can't change your mind and be a French Fry for Halloween.

Stop brushing your teeth with mashed potatoes!
(this one is my all time favorite. don't ask.)

Things I've had to say...

Do NOT take your panties off in the front yard.

Please stop trapping your sister underneath the laundry basket.

No you cannot stay up to watch Project Runway because you're only 4.

Only one little girl in the laundry basket at a time please.

That's why God gave you a tongue. To help you get food off the roof of your mouth.

Stop laughing every time your sister gets in trouble.

No, mommy's cooking does not always give you diarrhea.

Things I've had to say...

Please don't put your carrots between your toes.
If I hear anymore giggling and laughing you're going to be in BIG trouble.
Quit putting your hands in your armpits and smelling them.
Please stop telling everyone that you just peed in the pool.
I promise, Daddy is definitely too big to get accidentally flushed down the potty.

Things I've had to say...

Do NOT suck on your hair.
Quit smelling each other's feet.
No, you cannot wear Daddy's deodorant.
Telling people Mommy has a baby in her belly IS a lie.
Licking your hands does not make them clean.

Things I've had to say...

Take that Duck out of your mouth!
Please put back the Egyptian flag.
Stop sucking on your toes.
Get your hair out of your mouth.
No you may not pee in the grass.
Goldfish crackers do not count as breakfast.

J

Things I've had to say this week

Quit making your sister smell your feet.

If you don't finish your french fries you will not get any fruit!
(hmmm...that doesn't sound right.)

Princesses do not burp at the table.

No you cannot have bubble gum medicine just because it tastes good.

There are no Ogres living in the air conditioning vent.

No, God can have any parking place He wants.

Things I've had to say this week...

Get your feet out of the French Fries!

Toilet water is not for drinking.

Yes, you will learn to wipe your own butt!

No, you can't have fireworks for your birthday.

Because I'm the mommy and my stomach is the boss.

Sorry, but you can't marry your daddy.

No, you can't marry your sister either.

Things I've had to say this week

Keep the gum on the inside of your mouth.
Stop hitting your sister with a shovel right now!
No, worms do not like to eat sidewalk paint so stop squirting them with it.
Right now it's mommy's turn to play with the Barbie.
NO pooping in the bathtub!
Get your toes out of your nose!

Things I've had to say this week.

I've taken my friend Chris' advice and will be trying my level best to post these on Fridays. I can almost always guarantee at least one something ridiculous. Got something ridiculous you said this week? Share it in the comments! (This definitely does NOT only apply to parents. I have said some pretty ridiculous things to grown adults!)

Please take your toes out of your mouth.
We don't put stickers in our eyelashes.
Take that tree limb out of your mouth.
Walk away from the rotten egg.
We never ever ask people whether they are a boy or a girl.
I said, TAKE THAT TREE LIMB OUT OF YOUR MOUTH!
Because it's Easter and Jesus wants you to wash your hair!

Things I've had to say today.

Here's a list of things I've had to say today:

"Macaroni is NOT a toy."
"Stop playing in the dirty clothes pile."
"Slapping your sister is NOT a game."
"We don't lick other people's food."
"You absolutely do not ever put your sister in a cage."
"Medicine is not candy."
"Yes, that's funny. But now put your underwear on the right way."