Thursday, August 23, 2007

Test me, red Grand Am, I dare you...

Hey, you. Yes, you, the red Grand Am parked in the lot at Joann’s Fabric. You think I am a mad-woman, a psycho, a complete nut job? You’re probably right. So, do us all a favor and get out of my way. Because, when I abandon my cart full of stuff in the aisle at Joann’s to drag two screaming children whose lives I just ruined forever because I did not buy them the new Halloween Pez dispensers placed conspicuously near the register in an effort to elicit screams of horror from children whose parents do not cave in and go out to the parking lot to find you parked so close to my minivan that I cannot get my children or myself in through the driver’s side doors thus forcing me to CLIMB in a most undignified way over the passenger side seats I have no choice but to tear a page from the Mommy Planner I bought at the Christian book store and leave you the following note:

Hey Asshole,

Maybe in the future you could try parking so other people can actually get into their cars, too. Thank you for making me climb over the passenger seat to get into my car. YOU SUCK!!

Yes, I really am that ridiculous. But, it was such a bad day. If you know the person who received the note tell them I would be sorry if I didn’t still feel so justified by their horrible parking job. I am working on being remorseful. Really.

**My most sincere apologies to my mom and Thomas’s mom who are probably reading this and feeling utterly ashamed of me. I have no excuse for myself.**