How I (unwittingly) hired strippers for my daughter's 2nd birthday party.

Yeah, I wish I were kidding.

Have I mentioned that I love birthdays? I've been obsessed with over the top birthday parties since Kai was born. Her first birthday party had 60 people at it. It was kind of insane.

But, for her second birthday I decided to really go all out. Thomas' parents were coming into town (from Hawaii...see where this is going?) and I decided to throw an authentic luau to celebrate her birthday. I wanted to impress them with my commitment to celebrating their son's cultural heritage.

Thomas and I found some hula dancers online and booked them for our party. We were assured they studied under a woman who had been a part of a Hula Halau in Hawaii. They practiced authentic Hula. And, we never actually met them until the day of the party which, in retrospect, was a bad idea.

So, here I am, 75 friends, family, church people all hanging out at my mom's house when our exotic hula dancers come marching up the driveway. And, it's at that point that my sister looks at me and says, "I think your strippers just arrived."

Oh, friends, it was a fine moment indeed. They came complete with their "bouncer." I fully expected a "don't touch the girls" lecture for the kids to take place at any moment. I. could. have. died.

But, they were great with the kids and took pictures with everyone (though none of the moms seemed to want them to pose with their husbands). In fact, once they did their hula, posed for photo ops, and handed out leis (insert inappropriate joke here) I thought we were in the clear. Until, the one on the right exclaimed, "Hey, Ya'll got a bathroom here? I gotta piss."

If only I could have scrapbooked that...

For more pics from the past, head over to THAT family's site for this weeks Fro' Me To You!

When did it happen?

Tonight this baby ran into my room trying to escape a "horrible dream." She climbed clumsily into my lap and clung to my neck. She whimpered in a sleepy voice and begged me not to make her go back to her bed.

And while I comforted her back to sleep I realized, this baby who used to sleep snuggled along my side, who used to fit so perfectly in my arms as I sang to her, and who would cuddle-cuddle on my lap until she finally drifted away into an unbreakable sleep, this baby who did all of those wonderful things was no longer a baby.

Her lanky four-year-old legs now stretched too far to snuggle comfortably into my lap. Her head rested to high to fit beneath my chin. Her body, having grown so tall this summer, now rested a bit too heavily on my lap for rocking. This baby of mine is no longer a baby.

And, though I knew how big she was getting and how much she was changing, it still saddened me to realize that some day soon she will not fit on my lap. And I just can't, for the life of me, figure out when this happened? How do these moments slip by so quickly?

For most pics from the past, check out THAT Family's Fro' Me To You Carnival!

Ugly can be your friend...

Or, How I got an upgrade to Business Class on an international British Airways flight.

If I'm being honest, I have to say I don't take great pictures. I'm not saying I'm Heidi Klum in person, but I must say I do look better in real life. I just missed out on the photogenic genes that seem so dominant in my family.

And, for the most part, the only effect it has had on my life was to make my pile of embarrassing pictures thicker than my Encyclopedia of Biblical Symbolism in English Literature. Which, just in case you don't have one of those lying around your desk, is really, really thick.

But, there is one moment in my life where I was thankful beyond measure that I was the proud owner of a fairly hideous passport photo.

One summer in college I studied abroad at Cambridge. One of the single most influential experiences of my academic (and personal) life. It was hard and frustrating and challenging and wonderful.

My mom and sister, Tara, met me in London for the tail end of my trip and after traveling around we were planning to fly home together. And, since we're neither multimillionaires or the owners of extensive expense accounts we were flying coach.

We checked in at the gate and, though this is usually where my tales of bad luck begin, this day was different. The girl behind the counter approached us in a routine manner and asked for passports. Mine was first. And, it looked like this:

And after I handed it to her, she did the most unexpected thing. She began to giggle hysterically. Really, really loud. But it then moved on to full belly laughs. I mean, it's not a great picture, but belly laughs? Really?

She looked at me and then at the picture and then announced rather proudly that anyone with a picture that turned out that horrible deserved to have an upgrade. And she upgraded my mother, sister and I to business class.

There are not enough italics to express how important that was because when anticipating an international flight in a space the size of a steamer trunk with sweaty people and snoring old men, an upgrade to business class might as well have been an upgrade to heaven.

Have you ever been in business class? Angels sing there. And they have movies. And chairs that recline all the way. And flight attendants who don't hate you. It is glorious. And if getting a free ticket into that world of luxurious bliss means I have to be the owner of a particularly horrible passport photo then I am happy to oblige.

But, I'm wondering, do you think there is anywhere in Expedia to use that as a coupon code?

Dude looks like a lady. Well, sort of.

For the record, this is what a good dad looks like.


But, Thomas goes WAY beyond a good dad. And here, my friends, is why.

When his daughters, who are obsessed with make-up and princesses, asked him pretty, pretty please with sugar and sprinkles on top if they could put mommy's Mary Kay make-up on him this weekend he reluctantly said...yes.

Well, that's not entirely accurate. First he said no way. Then, no thank you. And, later, well, maybe. But finally, he went into the bathroom and shaved all but his little lip goatee thingy and said, have at it. And the girls were giddy beyond belief.

So, we broke out the make-up samples and I let the girls turn their daddy into a fairytale princess. And, of course, made sure I captured the journey of transformation on film.



And this is where it gets good. 'Cause if the first the picture is what a good dad looks like, then these pictures are of a super great amazing dad.

Not only did he let the girls put make-up on him, he sweetly agreed to let Ivy put the wigs on him when she came out yelling, "Daddy needs hair! Daddy needs hair!" And, not only that, but he let me take pictures of it. And, blog it.

So, without further ado, I present to you he who was crowned "Princess Daddy" by my girls. The best daddy in the whole wide world. (And a man who, for the record, will never be able to run for political office. At least, not outside of San Francisco.)

Working it! Love the 'fro and the flower crown!

Rocking the old school, Cyndi Lauper style.

My THREE girls!

For more funny pics, check out That Family's site for this week's Fro' Me To You Carnival!

This is what it's like...

when kids have unlimited access to markers and a mom who really should pay more attention to what they're up to. Is it better or worse if I say all these pictures were taken months apart? Worse, I say. Much, much worse.

Have I mentioned, by the way, that the second picture was the product of a black SHARPIE marker? Yeah. That one lasted for days.

You'd think by now I'd have learned my lesson, right? Then again, they do make for some fun photo ops!

For more fun pics from the past, check out Fro' Me To You over at That Family's site.

Like Mother, Like Daughters...

Proof positive that if fashion can be a crime, my family is the fashion mafia. And we force you into the "family business" at a very young age...

My sister and me playing dress-up in which I apparently decided to forgo the pants. And, the tapestry vest? Classic.

Kai and Ivy playing dress-up. Notice Ivy's backward winter coat? She loves to pull the hood up over her face!

I've apparently also inherited my mom's chop-the-top-off-your-kid's head photo technique. Just one more way I'm turning into my mother!

For more blasts from the past, visit That Family's site for Fro' Me to You...

Careful How You Crop

Okay, this one is for my mom. She LOVES this picture. It is a prime example of why you should always frame and/or crop your photos carefully.

In case you're confused, this was two years ago when I was about 9 months pregnant for Ivy (as is evidenced by the painfully faked smile, oh yeah, and the belly).

Kai was standing in front of me and her hair was, um, placed in the most awkward place possible. Mom took this picture not realizing **blushing** what exactly she was making the photo look like.

But, she sends it to me every 6 months or so after she comes across it and nearly passes out from the hilariousness. Then she sends it to my sisters. And, God knows who else.

Last time, she sent it with a poem:

oh dear, i fear its time for you shave.
grab a razor and be brave.
enter the gates of furry heaven
how many hours will it take?
hopefully not 7.
-------------------------------------------
your carpet and drapes don't match!!!

She's hilarious. And I am never letting her near me with a camera again. Ever.

For more funny and fun pics from the past, check out Fro' Me to You at That Family's site!

A Fro' to Remember...

In honor of Father's Day I thought I'd post a pic of my own dear dad. And, to give you an idea of how I got to be as, um, unconventional as I am I thought I'd post one of my favorite Dad pictures.

That pic above is my parents' wedding picture. And the mass of hair on the left is my amazing dad. And, let me say, since it has been repeated to me for years, that my dad got a massive haircut in honor of his wedding day. Massive.

And, every time I see that picture I think one thing and one thing only. What in the world was my grandpa thinking when he let that classic rock loving mountain man marry his fresh faced baby girl?

Probably the same thing my own dad was thinking when he let me marry the dreaded and braided man of my dreams (and father to my own precious baby girls).



He was thinking, "Dear God, please let him take care of my daughter better than he takes care of his hair."

Thankfully, they both have.

For more fun pics from the past, head over to That Family's website for Fro' Me to You!

You're Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile...

In 1982, Annie came into theaters. And an obsession was born.

I loved Annie. Had to own everything Annie related. To this day, I can't hear any song from the Annie soundtrack without breaking out into song. Loud, obnoxious song.

One essential element of that was the Annie dress. You know the one. Red dress, black piping, white sash. I had the red mop of hair to go with it so I think I truly believed I was Annie when I had that magical dress on.

I wore this dress every opportunity I got. And, at this moment, that dress is hanging in a special "don't ever touch" spot in the playroom dress up closet. I would wear it to this day if I could. Okay, maybe not. That's creepy. But, still, I do love that dress...

For more pics from the past, check out the Fro' Me to You Carnival at That Family's website!

Fro' Me to You

Let me tell you a little about my highschool. It was an all-girls school. Which means we basically had an all-girls prom (with the exception of a few pitiful fellows bused in from the local military school). And, in case you couldn't guess, all-girls proms pretty much, you know, blow. But, I went. Every year.

And here I am my junior year dressed as a deranged wedding cake topper. This outfit was not a joke. I was serious. Notice how I am alone in the pic? Yep. No date for prom. But that didn't stop me from getting my picture taken in this stunning get-up. Oh no. I had to have photographic evidence of my horrendous fashion sense.

And that brings me to this.

My dearest mom,

why, oh why, did you ever let me out of the house dressed like this? why did you not call the national guard to barricade the door so I wouldn't go into public in this dress? and this hair?

I know you love me, but seriously? would it have killed you to keep me from this embarrassment?

with all my love,
your beloved daughter/chronic fashion victim

Head over to That Family's blog to see other pics from the past!

Fro' Me to You: Kai's Chair Experience

I'm joining the Fro' Me to You Carnival and I have to say this has to be one of my FAVORITE carnival ideas ever. The whole point is to publish photographic evidence of something in your recent or distant past.

I know I've posted about this before, but I just have to relive one of my absolute favorite Kai moments:


Lest you think me a horrible mom, let me say that she got herself stuck in this chair while I had turned my back to finish cooking. She slid down into the chair but her head was stuck and she couldn't go back out either way.

The picture was taken while we waited for her Uncle Jared to come rescue her from the chair since her Daddy was stuck on the highway in horrible traffic. We had to unscrew the chair and take it apart to get her out. So, since we had all that time on our hands waiting how could I not document this priceless moment?

Head over to THAT Family's site and see the rest of the unforgettable moments...