Come find me!

Are you at Type-A Mom Conference this weekend? If so, I’d love to meet you in person! I’ll be wandering the halls so please come say hi.

I’m looking forward to hanging out with fellow moms, bloggers, & social media addicts and letting Thomas hang with the kids on his own. Pray for him.

No, seriously, pray…

Like Romeo & Juliet. But for Kindergarten.

I can hold a grudge. I know, I know. It isn't very Christian of me. But, despite my love of Jesus I'm not exactly the bestest Christian ever so I live with it. And keep working on it.

But, there are times in my life when I really wish I could learn to let go. If you know me IRL, then you know one of my favorite phrases is "it's the principle of the matter" when describing my anger toward a perceived injustice. I'm a principle crusader.

Nine years ago Thomas and I went to pre-marital counseling. Which turned into counseling between us, my parents, & my sisters. All of us saw the same counselor. At different times in various combinations. At one point (I'm not even kidding) she talked to my parents about starting counseling at their manufacturing plant with their employees. She had quite the racket convincing all of us to come in several times a week at $90 an hour. The whole thing (I think) was a bit unethical of her. She was (in my opinion) a terrible, terrible counselor. And my husband and I chose to elope as a direct result of our counseling sessions and the chaos created by all of us seeing one counselor and getting conflicting advice & stories. Our family relationships were not restored until we all got out from under her "care" and actually talked to each other without professional help.

Okay, in case you were wondering, that is me holding back. A LOT.

So, since then I've moved on. (Can you tell?) Yes, I've called the church that referred us to her and informed them of her unethical practices. And they called & let her know I complained. She assured them she couldn't think of a single reason I would have been unhappy. Thankyouverymuch, oh unnamed church, for the way you handled that.

Fast forward 9 years and when I let myself think about it I'm still a bit sore about the whole thing. Yes, I've moved on. My husband and I are happy. We have a beautiful family. My parents & sisters and I have wonderful rich relationships. I should let it go. But, it's the principle of the matter.

God, however, is a funny guy. Because last week I went into Kai's homeschool academy for a mom meeting and sat down right across from one very familiar face. (And it wasn't a friendly one.)

I sat through the whole meeting barely hearing the teacher and marveling at my dumb luck. And then went out to meet Thomas & the kids and got ready to tell him all about my discovery. But, I was interrupted by Kai telling me all about her new bestest friend in the whole wide world, B-----. We knew she'd been playing with B----- for the last few weeks. What we didn't know was B-----'s name. And that day we'd promised her a slushy if she would go to school learn her best friend's name and report it back to us. (We think it's important to remember the names of our best friends around here.)

"Mommy, mommy! I remembered my best friend's name! It's B-----!"

In case you're wondering, yes, that is the name of the dreaded counselor's daughter. My daughter's bestest friend is the friend of my enemy. Oh. the. irony.

I'll admit. The first thing I wanted to do was tell Kai not to play with her new best friend. (Yes, I know that is yucky of me.) But, I resisted the urge to spread the poison to my 5-year-old. I like to call that progress.

But, this lady & I are going to have to learn to coexist in this tiny class of 12. Which means I've got some forgiving to do. And that just doesn't come easy to me. I don't like letting people off the hook. (Though please feel free to let me off the hook whenever I commit some wrong against you. I'm nice & hypocritical that way.)

I'm going to learn to be bigger than this thing. I'm going to take the high road. Because, after all, that is the principle that actually matters.

This forgiveness thing is SO a work in progress. I'm sure you'll be hearing more before this school year is over. In the meantime, if you have forgiveness stories and advice to share, I'm all ears...

I'm moving.

Just in time for the Type-A Mom Conference I'm moving my blog over to WordPress. And getting a super cool redesign!

So, check back Wednesday for the details. I'll be unveiling the new look & domain name.

Same content. Same blog. But, with much cooler digs.

I swear I'm not making these up.

I'm working on a post documenting our ridiculous adventure across the great state of Indiana. We had such a good time though it was (of course) not lacking in "the crazy." More to come on that tomorrow.

In the meantime, I just checked my stats and couldn't resist sharing a list of the most ridiculous searches that ultimately led weirdos to my blog. (No offense if you're one of the weirdos who found me this way. But, really?)

"I am capable of keeping secrets from you." - Ooookaaaay.

"I wish someone would shoot me." - You're scary.

"Amazing swear word combinations." - My mother will be so proud.

"What does Kai smell like?" - Hmmm, it just depends on the day.

"Maternity pants falling down panties." Yeah. I know all about that.

"I breastfeed and my breast pads smell like chicken." - Oh, honey. #1. I'm so sorry to hear that. And #2. That's waaaay too much information.

Our wild date night.

What makes for an interesting date night?

Sweaty bodies. A little rope. A mysterious stranger. And...a tow truck.

We were barely 5 miles from home and delighting in our plans to eat dinner with no kids and maybe (if we were really lucky) head to the bookstore when it happened. Woody (Thomas' "new" car) got tired and decided to take a break. In the middle of the road. In 6 o'clock traffic.

So there we were sitting in the middle of the fast lane trying to figure out what the heck is going on with the car. We started freaking out and panicking (Okay, that was just me doing that part, but still.) and ended up trying to push the car out of the way. Imagine the scene. There we are sweating in the sweltering summer heat with people honking, cars swerving recklessly around us, drivers nearly careening into the back of us because they weren't paying attention. Then the next thing I know this huge white pick-up truck comes swerving right in front of me. And I do what any gracious Christian girl in this situation would do. I lay on the horn. Hard. Because what kind of jerk does that kind of thing, right?

Turns out it was the kind of jerk who was pulling in front of us in his big huge (shiny & new) truck to hook a rope to our bumper and pull us out of the way. When will I ever learn?

Our angel, who's name was Ben, had just bought rope for no apparent reason the other day. He just thought it might someday come in handy. And boy did it. He tied that rope to our bumper and pulled us through traffic to the nearest parking lot. God bless that man.

Thankfully my sister (who was babysitting the kids for us) was able to load everyone into the minivan and rescue us from being stranded. She also got to experience the ultimate form of birth control: loading three kids into a messy minivan. (Thanks, Tara!)

I could be upset about everything but because of this interesting turn of events we got to meet an awesome good samaritan (Thanks, Ben!) and a really friendly and wonderful AAA tow truck operator (Thanks, Will!) and got to experience a much more adventurous evening than we could ever have planned on our own.

Despite the broken down car, the ruined date night, and all the hassle of towing the car back to our house, the most disappointing part was that I failed to get photographic documentation of this little adventure. Apparently I'm not as committed to being a good blogger as I thought!

It's Cash for Clunkers. Except backward.

We have been a one car family for a little over a year. We decided last June to wait on buying a new car until we found one we liked that we could get without a payment.

Fast forward 13 months and we finally decided we were ready for another car. I don't know if it was my attitude or our life changes (adding a newborn makes things complicated!) but I was suddenly totally over the whole one car family thing. Waking up early and loading three littles into a car every morning to drop daddy off at MARTA started getting to me. And since I'm not so good at the whole waking up early thing, Thomas nearly always got into work later than he wanted to.

So this weekend, when the rest of the country was turning in their clunkers for cash we used our cash to buy a clunker of our own.

Meet Woody. He gets horrible gas mileage (thank goodness he only has to drive 5 miles to MARTA) and he's a bit quirky, but he is exactly the car Thomas has been wanting for a while. So, he's happy. I'm happy. And tomorrow I'm planning to enjoy the extra hour of sleep that I get by not making a trip to the bus station.

Clunkers FTW!

It all comes down to enunciation.

On Mother's Day when you find an inch of standing water in the basement from a leaky bathtub that needs to be sealed and you have to run into Lowe's by yourself to pick up the caulk so your husband can repair it and you can't find the stinking caulk anywhere in the store and you realize you are going to have to ask someone (anyone) for help and all those people are apparently of the male persuasion you will discover that there is no good way to ask where the location of said item is.

For example (you may need to say this out loud to understand what I'm getting at here):

"Can you show me where you keep your caulk?"

"I need some caulk. Can you help me?"

"I'm looking for caulk and can't find it. Can you point me in the right direction?"

Next time I'm totally sending Thomas in to deal with it.

Catch you on the flip side...

Good news for the Loving family. We're actually sneaking off for a few days on a spur of the moment beach mini-vacation. I can't remember the last time we had a break like this.

And though I could sneak away to the free coffee shop wi-fi on this break to blog a couple posts and maintain some continuity here in the Land of Lovings I've decided to really take off these few days and have nothing more pressing than cuddling my babies.

So, I'll catch you guys next week. I promise to be back on Tuesday rested, relaxed, sunburned and full of great new content.

See you soon!

Happy Birthday to you. You are such an old lady. (Okay, not really.)

Forgive me a moment while I take care of some personal business here. I need to say something to my sister who is, incidentally, turning 28 today. For the record, she's officially in her late twenties now. (Did you hear that, Tara?)

My sister, who is 23 months younger than me, has always been my partner in crime. I see so much similarity to us in Kai and Ivy's relationship and I am so thankful that they have that. I was fortunate enough to grow up with a built in best friend (and, at times, worst enemy) and I love her so much.

So, happy birthday to my younger (though not so young anymore) sister. I love you!

Um...really?

Things I learned the hard way last week

1. 50 feet of 50-year-old cast iron pipes that run completely horizontal in your basement are bound to break when a roto-rooter tries to clear them out.

2. 50 years of food and grime in said pipes does not make your cute yellow Prada make-up bag any cuter. Seriously.

3. Chicken Noodle Soup is not a great meal to give kids in their car seats when you're in a hurry.

4. Kidney stones can, in fact, put a pregnant woman into labor.

5. Doctors don't care that your nursery is ready and you have already washed the necessary onesies. They apparently have more "scientific" ways of determining whether or not to stop labor. (And, boo to that.)

It's snowing?!?

I can't even count the number of snow predictions we've had this winter that never turned into anything but disappointment. So, when the weather man called for snow on March 1st (after a 60 degree day just two days prior) I didn't even bother telling the girls.

And, guess what??

SNOW! In Georgia! In March!







And last, but certainly not least, Kai finally got her wish to make a snowman this year. Sure, he was only about 6" tall and she had to use sunflower seeds for eyes but she was beyond thrilled!

Yeah, I'm phoning it in. **Sorry**

Okay, so I've been sofa bound all week for some high blood pressure issues. Let me say, I missed out on the 1960s so seeing flashing spots and blurred vision because of an ultra-high BP yesterday was about as close as I got to the whole hallucinogenic trippy experience. I don't long to experience it again.

Not too much exciting or inspiring happens when you're stuck on the couch, so I've decided to cop out and finish out the week with a Meme. Forgive me for not coming up with something more original. I promise to do better next week!

Technically I'm supposed to tag someone, so I'm tagging all of you. You copy the list and bold the things you've actually done. Leave me a link in the comments if you do it so I can come by and read all about the things you've done!

99 Things I've Done

1. Started your own blog

2. Slept under the stars

3. Played in a band (does a Marching Band count? : ))

4. Visited Hawaii

5. Watched a meteor shower

6. Given more than you can afford to charity

7. Been to Disneyland/world

8. Climbed a mountain.

9. Held a praying mantis

10. Sang a solo

11. Bungee jumped

12. Visited Paris

13. Watched a lightning storm at sea

14. Taught yourself an art from scratch

15. Adopted a child

16. Had food poisoning

17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty

18. Grown your own vegetables

19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France

20. Slept on an overnight train

21. Had a pillow fight

22. Hitch hiked

23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill

24. Built a snow fort

25. Held a lamb

26. Gone skinny dipping

27. Run a Marathon

28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice

29 Seen a total eclipse

30. Watched a sunrise or sunset

31. Hit a home run

32. Been on a cruise

33 Seen Niagara Falls in person

34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors

35. Seen an Amish community

36. Taught yourself a new language

37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied

38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person

39. Gone rock climbing

40. Seen Michelangelo’s David

41 Sung karaoke

42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt

43. Bought a stranger a meal in a restaurant

44. Visited Africa

45 Walked on a beach by moonlight

46. Been transported in an ambulance

47. Had your portrait painted

48. Gone deep sea fishing

49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person

50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris

51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling

52. Kissed in the rain

53. Played in the mud

54. Gone to a drive-in theater

55. Been in a movie

56. Visited the Great Wall of China

57. Started a business

58. Taken a martial arts class

59. Visited Russia

60 Served at a soup kitchen

61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies

62. Gone whale watching

63. Gotten flowers for no reason

64 Donated blood, platelets, or plasma

65. Gone sky diving

66 Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp

67 Bounced a check

68. Flown in a helicopter

69. Saved a favorite childhood toy

70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial

71. Eaten Caviar

72. Pieced a quilt

73. Stood in Times Square

74. Toured the Everglades

75. Been fired from a job (does it count if your parents fire you from their company?)

76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London

77. Broken a bone

78. Been on a speeding motorcycle

79 Seen the Grand Canyon in person

80. Published a book

81. Visited the Vatican

82. Bought a brand new car

83. Walked in Jerusalem

84. Had your picture in the newspaper

85. Read the entire Bible

86. Visited the White House

87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating

88. Had chickenpox

89. Saved someone’s life

90. Sat on a jury

91. Met someone famous

92. Joined a book club

93. Lost a loved one

94. Had a baby

95. Seen the Alamo in person

96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake

97. Been involved in a lawsuit

98. Owned a cell phone

99. Been stung by a bee

Okay, I'm off to watch a Buffy the Vampire Slayer Marathon since there is nothing left to do on bed rest. Hey, at least it isn't Rock of Love Charm School, right? (Actually, it's only because I watched all I could stand of that yesterday. **sigh**)

Apparently this is Satan's Laptop...

I know I disappointed all of you (and by all of you, I mean my Mom) by not having my Total Truth Tuesday ready today. I was busy being all poked and prodded at my 30 week doctor's appointment. I'll get back in the swing of things tomorrow. In the meantime, enjoy this awesome product review my sister found for me at Target.com.

Click the image to make it easier to read.
You don't want to miss this one!

He really does look like our baby. Just with creepier eye movements.

Thanks to the VW Routan Baby Maker we can get a preview of what our little man might look like. Be sure and go make your own baby here. It's too fun!

Because there is something infinitely wrong with my brain...

It has occurred to me before now that I am not entirely normal. But the extent of my strangeness was never more real to me than last night at my fantastically romantic Anniversary dinner with my husband.

As part of our night out Thomas took me downtown to "Big Atlanta" to go out to a restaurant that we went to on our 1st anniversary. It is a great old downtown restaurant. Dimly lit, romantic, delicious food. You know, everything an anniversary destination should be.

Knowing where we were going I had a chance to prepare a wardrobe choice for the evening. Which is a good thing since it takes me hours to dress this belly of mine lately.

I ended up in the same black dress I always wear when we go out, a pair of tall black boots (because I know you care what shoes I was wearing) and a pair of pre-pregnancy skinny jeans.

Okay, so here's where you begin to get a glimpse into my weird, weird brain. See, when I'm preggo I try and use my regular jeans as long as possible. With a 6 month belly (that is apparently STILL measuring 3 weeks ahead) you might be able to guess that these jeans don't button. But, I'm creative. I think of ways to keep them up.

Last night I decided to just wear a long tight shirt under the dress to function as a makeshift belly band and keep them up. Of course, it didn't work well and I spent several trips to the bathroom hiking up my pants to avoid losing them in public.

On one such trip I was contemplating ways to make my pants stay up easier. The rubber band trick never works. I am too lazy to go out and look for a belly band. And maternity pants? No way. I'm more than halfway through this pregnancy. The next pair of cute jeans I buy will be post-pregnancy jeans.

And then, in some flash of twisted genius it occurred to me. I should wear a pair of my beloved maternity panties on top of the jeans to hold them up. Because pants can't fall down with a pair of those over-the-belly underwear on top, right? And since I almost always wear a short dress over these particular jeans no one would be the wiser. There was a brief moment when I really, truly thought I had discovered something quite genius.

But, I'll be honest, the idea of wearing underwear over my jeans cracked me up right there in the middle of the ladies room. Because, I imagined what would happen. I knew the first time I did something like that I would end up in some minor accident that would send me to the hospital where I would have to explain the reason I was wearing my underwear on the outside. And then I would end up in some compilation of the "weirdest patients" at an end of the year hospital party.

You know it's true.

When I finally made it back to the table I was still giggling about it. 'Cause I could just envision the post-accident/panty revelation post that would come out of such a ridiculous scenario. When I began to explain my sudden fit of giggles to my husband, he looked at me adoringly and said, "Why not just use a belt?"

Because, friends, that is what a semi-normal person uses to hold up their pants, right? A belt. And yet my mind went straight to wearing maternity panties over my jeans. That right there is why I will ultimately never run out of blog material.

I am simply too weird for my own good.

In case you were wondering if we are totally insane the answer is...yes.

So, it turns out I'm a bad mommy blogger...

Well, I had intended to schedule something (anything) to fill the last, oh, 5 days, but I dropped the ball. In a major way. I mean, I didn't even let you all know how thankful I am that you stop by here and read about my crazy life on a daily basis.

(And I am, BTW, very very thankful for my commenting blogger friends and quiet lurking friends who come by to see what's going on at Land of Lovings!)

Instead, I hung out with family, largely ignored my blog and Twitter and Google Reader, finished Twilight, started New Moon, and ate WAY too much food.

But, the good news is I'm feeling relaxed and revitalized and I have lots of fun stuff to post about and I promise to be a better mommy blogger through the rest of the holiday season.

And, just wait until you see my Total Truth Tuesday this week. Sweet Merciful Lord, it is guaranteed to make you feel like a domestic goddess compared to me. I swear!

Where debit cards go to die.

Have you ever wondered what happens inside an ATM machine? I guess I always thought they were just a big glorified computer/calculator with a mini vault of money inside. But, I was oh so wrong.

So, in case you ever wondered, I thought I'd tell you what really goes on inside an ATM machine. Say, in the case of a person who accidentally leaves their debit card inside.

That way if you are ever on the phone with your mother trying to work out dinner details while simultaneously refereeing a fight between two kids in the back seat, driving through an ATM, and gestating a boy child you will know what happens when you take your money and receipt but fail to retrieve your debit card.

From what I have gathered, here is what happens. The debit card in question gets sucked back into the ATM of doom and is photocopied for record keeping purposes. It is then unceremoniously shredded to death thus relegating the card holder to a 3 week sentence of debit card free living. Those photocopies are kept in a drawer for an unsympathetic bank employee to rustle through before giving the news of said shredding to the hysterical debit card owner who may just so happen to be driving through rush hour traffic on a very busy highway.

That is what happens. It is not a pretty thing.

So, R.I.P. beloved debit card. Sadly, you are yet another casualty of this preggo brain. You will missed every single day for the next 3 weeks until your blessed replacement comes my way.

Dear Honda...

Dear Honda,

Let me start by thanking you for making perhaps the greatest mommy van on the planet. The Odyssey's ability to withstand such preschool art materials as crayons, markers, pudding, etc. is just fantastic. Who knew a headliner could be so resistant to chocolate pudding stains? And giving moms a carpet that can absorb both orange juice and jello simultaneously while maintaining that lovely shade of grey is just heaven sent.

But, might I add one slight improvement? I think a pane of soundproof privacy glass between the front and rear seats might be just what the Odyssey needs to ensure it's place in the "History of the Best Inventions for Mothers." It could take it's place right under the epidural.

And, you know, I'd be happy to test that improvement for you. Consider it market research. I won't even ask that you give me credit for the idea.