Friday, October 3, 2008

How to terrify an entire room full of preschoolers the Loving Family way

Did I mention that Ivy's teacher asked me to bring in a chicken to show the class today as part of their unit on Farms and Farm Animals? She did. And for some insane reason I agreed to do it.

Yet another of those "What on Earth was I thinking?" moments I have come to know and love.

It started out fine. The chicken was tucked sweetly beneath my arm. The children were excited. Then, the teacher asked to hold it. And the chicken must have realized that this was someone she didn't know 'cause about 20 seconds into being held in the teacher's lap she bolted. The teacher tried to grab her back but only succeeded in pulling out a handful of tail feathers and freaking her out more.

Of course, the children being in a circle were pretty much well-positioned for the greatest amount of freakout potential. The chicken half-ran half-flew across the room right into Ivy's lap. Which set off a scream that terrified both the chicken and the other children who basically perceived the flight into Ivy's lap as an attack that would be targeting each of them next. The more the children ran and screamed the more terrified the poor hen was. She flew, they screamed. Then she got scared by the screaming and ran away and they got scared by her running and they screamed some more.

God help us. It was insane. There was screaming and crying and shrieking and me chasing this chicken across the room and finally grabbing it and clutching it in a death grip beneath my arm.

Afterwards, the kids were still screaming about how much they didn't like chickens and begging me to put her back in the cage and I'm pretty certain that they will all go home and tell their parents about the "Giant Chicken of Death" that Ivy's mom brought to school today.

Guess the parents can pretty much count on chicken nightmares tonight...


Heather said...

Oh my goodness.

I think the demand of chicken at the store and McDonald's may go down significantly...

DreadedRafifi said...

Oh, how I wish I could've been there. lol.

Peanut said...

That's hilarious! They'll be talking about that one for a long time!!
Makes me wonder if that is what happened to my SIL, who has an unnatural fear of birds :)

Ashley @ said...

Ok...I may have missed something. I have a few questions to ask you.

Question 1: Where does one acquire a live chicken in Atlanta? I have been there many many times and I have never seen a chicken store. Well, that's not entirely true. I have seen "The big chicken" sign from a KFC somewhere near Roswell or Marietta.

Question 2: Do you know what I am talking about?

Question 3: Do you have your own chickens?

And also...that story is hilarious! Those kids are going to have Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome from that crazy chicken :)

Juli said...

not to add any more regret.... but I still hate chickens to this day because of an "experience" when I was 6. I was attacked by several chickens, and it basically scarred me for life.

haha. I love the way you told this story. Hope it didn't scar any children :)

Juli said...

(this is actually Juli's mom, Anita)
Ooh, my gosh!! I couldn't breathe I was laughing so hard!! Could you please publish that in the PARENT MAGAZINE!! Juli was chased by a hen when she was pecked at her back as she ran from it....yes...she is scarred til this day...and hates chickens!! I love the moment of humor today... I so needed a GOOD laugh!!

the sits girls said...

This post was hilarious. We only wish you had photos to accompany it!