Total Truth Tuesday: In which I admit to being a coward.

There are lots of things I'm afraid of.

There is, for instance, flying. And spiders. And dangling my feet over the side of the bed when it is really dark in my bedroom and I'm the only one awake.

I'm really a big old 'fraidy cat. For real.

The other thing I tend to be a bit nervous about? Major abdominal surgery. Particularly those of the C-section variety.

I don't relish the thought of having my body cut in two. It's just a little quirk I have.

But, tomorrow, I will face my fear again. Because I have to. And because it is a small price to pay for the blessing of this new life that we're about to bring into this world. But, I'm nervous, friends. And freaking out just a smidge.

So, if you could offer up a few prayers for courage and peace and, you know, un-'fraidy cat-ness tomorrow I'd sure appreciate it. 'Cause last night when Kai asked me over and over if this is the last time I'd ever be tucking her in to sleep I started to worry that she had an inside track on something I wasn't aware of. And I confidently assured her that everything was going to be fine and that it was easy for the doctor to make a door for the baby to come out.

After which I promptly went in my room and cried. And freaked out. But it occurred to me (mid freak-out) that since sharing stories about my embarrassing parenting failures with the world makes me feel better that maybe sharing this bit of panic would make me feel better, too. Maybe just saying it out loud and asking for some prayer would be enough to take some of the bite out of that fear.

It's what I do every time either of my girls have a nightmare. After I've comforted the tears and the panic, I tell them the same thing every time.

"Just tell me what it is and it will be okay."

Then they tell me what terrible thing was filling up their dream. And they realize that it is never as bad as it sounded or felt in their head. Because keeping fears a secret gives them unbelievable power.

So, I'm telling you. My friends, readers, passersby. This is what I'm scared of and this is what I'm feeling. I'm telling you so it will be okay.

And you know what? I think it's working already.