Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Total Truth Tuesday: My Case for Polygamy

I called Thomas at work last Wednesday and told him if he wanted to try and convince me to give polygamy a chance that was the day to do it. It is also, not coincidentally, the day our cleaning lady came for the second time.

Have I mentioned that I am in love with her?

Before you start to worry that I've been watching WAY too much Big Love on HBO, let me say I can't truly imagine adding another person to a marriage.

But, adding another person to the house? One who cleans and can watch the kids while I run to the grocery during the day without worrying about loading anyone into over-sized carts and negotiating fights over who gets to sit beside the frozen pizzas? I can definitely imagine that.

When I was in college I remember reading Judy Syfers' classic feminist essay, "Why I Want a Wife" and thinking it was really "cool." Because I was 19. And I didn't really get it. But, I was a feminist so I'd heard there was gender role inequality and, well, I jumped on the bandwagon.

But, now, I read that essay and I realize it could have been written by any one us mommy bloggers. I can relate to that essay in a way I had never quite imagined. I, too, want a wife. Wives are such wonderful, wonderful things.

Since I'm pretty much a traditional kind of girl (at least in the sense of wanting a one man/one woman marriage for myself) I'll settle for having a housekeeper one day a week. It is probably as close as I'll get to the bliss of having a wife to take care of me.

Our housekeeper started two weeks ago and I already look forward to seeing her every week. In fact, everyone in our house does.

"Don't mess up the playroom," Kai warns her sister, "Miss Trina is coming next week!"

"When Trina is here next week, can you have her iron some more dress shirts?" Thomas requests.

And, I am more than willing to give up these chores to someone more qualified than I am to do it. You should see me iron a shirt.

You may think I'm a terrible wife if you wish. I don't care. Think I'm overindulgent, frivolous, or lazy? I can take it.

I guarantee you that society doesn't view my husband as overindulgent, frivolous or lazy for having someone at home caring for his progeny and his domain. It is just a given that he'd have that luxury.

Don't misunderstand the arrangement here, though. Having help one day a week doesn't mean I sit around the rest of the week eating bon-bons and watching Dr. Phil. I still have plenty of household responsibilities to keep me busy. It does, however, mean I have someone who is guaranteed to catch the things I've routinely overlooked. Like baseboards. And blinds. And changing the sheets as often as they should be changed.

The truth is, now that I've gotten a taste of having someone to help around the house, I'd gladly sacrifice meat from my diet to be able to afford having her come clean our house. I'd limit myself to buying one pair of shoes a year. (Okay...maybe 2?)

Because homeschooling a preschooler, a kindergartener, and taking care of a brand-new baby after a C-section while maintaining some kind of order in this house is beginning to look overwhelming to me. Even with better living through pharmaceuticals.

So, when she offered to watch the kids while I ran a quick errand last week it occurred to me that having someone there to help out is pretty irresistible. Though, as it turns out, Thomas isn't so much into the idea of marrying 60-something-year-old women so he wasn't all that tempted. Even if it would save us the money we pay her.

I guess since polygamy is out of the question, I'll stick to paying someone to help me be a better wife and mom. After all I am contributing to the economy that way, right??

What about you? What little luxury to you make room for in your budget that you refuse to do without?


Tiffany @ Lattes And Life said...

SO jealous :-p

My luxury? I guess my lattes. I don't get them often, but my husband never begrudges me a latte when we're in the big city.

Peanut said...

Sounds wonderful! I too have neglected everything but the absolute necessities around here (laundry and cooking).
I hire a babysitter once-a-week so I can run errands ALONE... and once every second week so my hubby and I can have a date night. Those are my luxuries.

ruberymom said...

Good for you! I had a cleaner for a few months during a period of illness (my sons) He had almost a continous ear infection for almost 6 months resulting in an operation. I would say that lovely cleaning lady helped save our marriage, I was VERY sleep deprived and very resentful.
Whatever you need to do to stay a happy mom has got to be ok and you are going to need all the help you can get!
All the best,

Louise, England

Katie said...

Are there such things as wife shares? Maybe one of the mail-order variety? I'll go in halfsies.

Katie said...

Scott and I have a cleaning lady who comes every other week. Workling full-time, even with no kids, leaves NO time for keeping the house....especially when there are essays to be graded and lessons to be planned. Scott keeps mentioning that when I stay at home with this soon-to-be little one, we can cut her from the family budget because I'll be home to do it all. WHAT? He has no idea that I'll eat ramen everyday before I give her up. We'll have that fight/cross that bridge when the time comes. :)

Person(also known as Mommy) said...

Maybe it's a third kid thing, but I've been hinting to hubby that it might be time to bring someone in a time or two a week. Just some college kid or something for $10/hr would still be FABULOUS.

I'm saving up my luxury for that-unless you count sleep as a luxury.