Thursday, April 23, 2009

One for the suggestion box.

Dear God-

I'm not trying to tell you how to handle your business. I know you've got it covered.

But, I thought I'd mention something for you to consider. You know, in case you decide to do this whole creation/humanity thing again somewhere else.

I was thinking the other day that since it takes two people to make a baby, that maybe it should take two people to do other things for the baby. Like, you know, feed the baby.

I get that only one person can carry a baby in their body. And, to be honest, I'm pretty thrilled that I get to be the one to do it. And, even though I might complain sometimes, I really do love that I get to provide nourishment for this life that grew inside of me.

But, I'm worried for my husband. I think he's feeling a bit left out. I can tell from the sounds of his snoring at 3 am that he is feeling like he's missing out on something when I get to wake up every 3-4 hours to feed the baby. He's pretending to enjoy the hours and hours and hours of deep satisfying sleep, but let's get real. It's a ruse. He wants to be a part of feeding the baby. And, I think he (and most men) would be much, much happier if they could also provide food and nourishment for their newborn child. Not to mention, they'd relish the opportunity to have deep personal knowledge of breast pads, nipple shields, and all the other accessories that accompany such endeavors.

I'm not quite sure exactly how this would work. I realize the current model might require some modifications. I'll leave the details up to you. But, I just thought I'd mention it for any future projects you might have up your sleeve. After all, no one should be forced to sleep a deep and restful sleep all night every single night of the week. It's just inhumane.

I'm pretty sure my husband would agree.

Yours Truly-



kellymac said...

Heck yeah!

Kelli in real life said...

LOLOL...i love it. My husband's ears dont work between the hours of midnight and 7 am. : )

Katie said...

Amen. I'm still pissed at Eve.

DreadedRafifi said...

You're a little late to the punch, honey. Here's a link for you:

Ashley @ said... DO have nipples. Maybe it's a possibility that God considered and then he changed His mind when Eve led Adam astray.

THAT woman! BAH!

Anonymous said...

i can't stop laughing :) - ekw

dewde said...

And Thomas beat ME to the punch. Looks like God is way ahead of you.

Male Lactation, Milkmen: Fathers Who Breastfeed