Monday, April 6, 2009

Progress Report.


As of today I've been home and on my own one full week with 2 preschoolers and an infant. And, I thought I'd just jot down a few notes about what is has been like to be home with three little ones on my own.

In a word? Delicate.

It has been a delicate balance of all my jobs. It has been a week of nurturing a delicate newborn and then there is the situation of my very delicate and recovering incision. I've had to handle my girls with more care than before so they don't feel left out and replaced. I've had to make things work largely by myself since Thomas' job took a crazy turn this week and demanded the longest hours he's worked since starting there 2 years ago. Talk about bad timing.

But, I've also had to be vigilant about my somewhat delicate mental state as well. See, with Kai I had no trouble transitioning back into "normal" mode. With Ivy, on the other hand, I had a pretty bad case of baby blues. I didn't realize it until I had my 4 week Doctor's appointment, but it turns out I had more than a little Post-Partum Depression. Like, can't get out of bed or off the couch or out from under the covers bad. And I knew that this time it was a distinct possibility. I know it still is.

So this week I've avoided playing the blame game with myself. When Trav's diaper leaked because I didn't realize it was full, I avoided calling myself a bad mom. When the girls ate a bit too much junk food (I can neither confirm nor deny that they ate Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs for breakfast one morning) or watched a Max & Ruby marathon so I could nurse the baby in relative peace, I forgave myself for not coming up with something better. Because guilt does not help things at all.

Do I need to do better when it comes to entertaining and feeding and balancing everything? Definitely. Do I wish I could have been SuperMom right out of the gate? Totally. Am I planning on doing a great job when I recover a bit more from this surgery? Yes! But, I'm not going to beat myself up over being lazy last week. Or even this week.

'Cause I'm doing the best I can. And even though this week everyone may not be getting their food pyramid needs met, their educational needs fulfilled, or even - you know - dressed in something other than pajamas, they are getting hugs and plenty of cuddly mommy time. And, after all, isn't that what really matters right now?

8 comments:

Katie said...

You ARE super mom, right out of the gate. You even had people over to your house. I'm impressed. I think you're allowed to stay in your pajamas on the couch for the first 6 weeks, anything more and you're just being a show-off : )

Fiona said...

I can't imagine doing what you're doing. If everyone's making it through the day - you're Supermom. Not that you have to be, but you are.

Tiffany @ Lattes And Life said...

Embrace the slack. That's my motto. If I park my rear on the couch all day, and all Aiden eats is PB&J and grilled cheese, he'll be okay. Same with you. Embrace the slack and be one with it :-)

kellymac said...

You get kudos for having it together enough to blog about whether or not you have it together. :)

Crayl said...

You are right, and you are doing a fine job! :) And they are all just beautiful.

Anonymous said...

See? You know *exactly* what's important.

I'm amazed at what you're accomplishing day in + day out. There'll be plenty of time later this spring + summer to go go go. You just had major surgery + are in charge of THREE LITTLE PEOPLE who all feel cared for + loved.

You're doing a super-fantastico job!

Plus, you're still one of my favorite writers to read...how do you do that?!!!!

The Non-Anonymous Debra ;)

Peanut said...

Um, we still have some days like that... and I only have two. Oh, and my youngest is 15 months. You ARE super mom :)

P.S.He loves you.. said...

what a cute set of girls(helpers) you have!

Get mommy a diaper..
get mommy the wipes..
take this to the trash..

I love having little helpers!