Total Truth Tuesday - Not for the weak stomach!

I've admitted my housekeeping skills are less than perfect. But, I truly didn't think they were all that bad. Until the other day when I came face to face with the truth.

You see, this past week we got new carpet. Much needed carpet. The carpet we had was from 1982 or something. Came with the house. Horrible stuff. And as we were prepping the house for the installation it occurred to my husband that we should probably check under our bed since they'd be moving it to put in our carpet.

I should have known it was going to be bad when my hands got clammy and I broke out into a cold sweat just from the thought of looking under my bed. I mean, our room is clean. The house is actually shockingly well-ordered and clean lately (which I attribute to a shared nesting instinct my husband and I seem to be going through). But, the bed? I hadn't looked under the bed in....a while.

At first I was really proud of myself. Nothing under the bed but a stray sock and a few pieces of luggage that don't fit in our closet. But, then I heard a gasp from the other side of the bed. And I knew if it was something bad enough to make my husband actually react audibly it must be serious. That is when he showed me this:


This is the part where I share something to put this gruesome horror into perspective. Ivy is now 30 months old. She was weaned off a bedtime bottle by the time she started sleeping in a big girl bed, which was right around 15 months old. That means, these bottles have been under my bed for MORE THAN A YEAR! And, for the record, my mother is probably deleting all evidence of her relationship to me as she reads this because, how could I let this happen??? (And why was my first instinct to take a picture of it??)

In my defense (not much of one, I'll admit) they were wedged down on the floor behind the headboard. And, it isn't like they had an odor or anything. At least not anymore. Though I am desperately searching my memory for a time when there may have been a strange spoiled milk smell emanating from the headboard.

But, there you have it. Total truth about my housekeeping skills. I apparently have domestic skills that would make a Jerry Springer guest gag a little. And, to make it worse, I just told the whole world about it.

Now, it's your turn. What is the worst thing you ever discovered lurking in your home?