Friday, August 1, 2008

Dear Friendly Neighbor,

Let's be honest here. You've heard the screaming. I'm assuming that it's probably why you say a forced "hi" and rush on your way every time we cross paths. It's quite likely (and reasonable) that you think I am a raging lunatic who tortures my kids into screaming bloody murder all day long.

But, this is just to let you know that the shrieking and screaming coming from my kids really isn't as bad as it must sound from the outside. Well, it does sound as bad as it sounds but it's just not for the reasons you might assume.

My kids, you see, love to scream. They scream when they're happy and when they're sad. They scream when they're mad and frustrated and on the brink of a sleep deprived manic state of insanity. They shriek when they hear good news, when they pretend there's a monster in their closet, and when they can't agree which of them should be the one in charge of their favorite book/doll/toy.

And, the particularly blood-curdling scream you hear midday? That's the naptime scream. It's generally accompanied by shrieks of "NOOO!! PLEASE!!! NO!!! DON'T MAKE ME!!!"

Welcome to my life.

But, I assure you my own (occasional) screaming is simply an attempt to speak their language. Can screaming be a love language? Hmmm. I smell an New York Time's Best Seller here.

I digress. Anyways, just wanted you to know it's totally safe to look me in the eyes the next time we see each other outside of our houses. I can virtually guarantee my gaze won't turn you into stone.


Heather said...

Eh. I hope she'll loosen up soon.

joolee said...

eHilarious! I SO should have written this post first! I sure wouldn't mind a neighbor like you. Retired folks just don't get the whole sleep deprived manic state of insanity. :)