Sunday, July 6, 2008

What I meant to say...

Why is it that every time I go someplace with real live grown-ups around I always manage to embarrass myself? Why is it I am never half as eloquent in person as I am when I'm writing something?

I hate those moments when you're in the middle of speaking and you realize that your mouth is a traitor to your mind. You think to yourself,

who is this speaking? Is this me? Is this really what I'm saying right now? STOP talking! No really, just stop. You did not just say that did you? Holy cow, please just walk away people. I can't stop talking so run for your lives. Seriously, could someone just throw something at me to make me stop. A rotten tomato? A pitchfork? That lovely strappy sandal you're wearing? 'Cause, for the love of all that is good and holy, I need to SSSTTTOOOPPPP talking!

See, today, when you asked me about whether we were thinking about homeschooling, what I said was:

"Um, yeah, well we're thinking about it 'cause, you know, we don't like rules and stuff. And, you know, um, well, we like doing things differently. 'Cause, um, well, you know, we're just different. Like, you know?"

Or something to that effect. But what I meant to say was,

"We are planning to give it a try this year and see how it works out for us. We have a tendency to favor non-traditional learning and I think this is going to be an exciting trial for us. We love the idea of showing our kids the world and teaching them math, science, history, and literature through a variety of methods and mediums. So, we're going to see how Kindergarten goes and figure it out. Plus, we are looking forward to the freedom that comes with being able to take the kids places and see the world as we are educating them."

I guess I tend to get intimidated by real grown-up moms and dads since I still don't feel a part of that club. But, the good thing is, blogging what I meant to say almost makes me feel better about screwing it up the first time. And now I get to quit replaying it over and over and over in my head.

So, to the mom I talked to today, in the off chance that you are reading this, sorry you had to endure my middle school style answer to an important question regarding the education of my child. And thanks for not looking at me like I'd just sprouted a foreign appendage in the middle of my forehead as I suffered the symptoms of what I am fearing is a chromic case of logorrhea.

Bloggy friends, do tell, is there anything you meant to say recently?



6 comments:

Kelsey said...

I am so with you on this one! I do this stuff all the time!

Heather said...

I have the SAME problem. To say a forth grader, I am the most eloquent speaker. To grown people, I must SOUND like a forth grader.

As far as what I have said, most likely anything that has come out of my mouth in the last, oh, 33 years. :)

I NEVER know the 'right' thing to say.

Amanda said...

WOW! I can't believe you are a SAHM homeschooling mom! That is so cool. I was homeschooled and we did a lot of cool stuff. Awesomeness!

Gettysburg Mom said...

I had a post the other day where I realized I was telling my vegan friend about how my daughter killed a fish with a canoe paddle during family fishing. Um... I'm guessing she had zero interest in hearing about that particular accomplishment.

marigold said...

Don't be so hard on yourself. It's only one of the four ways we communicate. Speaking isn't always easy!

Rae said...

Oh my gosh, this is me in our small group/Sunday School every week! I am always saying "why don't I feel like I fit in here?" And then someone will say "I love that top on you! Where did you get it?" And I get this remarkably night-of-the-living-dead look on my face and respond with "Yeah, I didn't get a chance to wash it since I wore it to cut grass in yesterday."
Not only is that way tmi, it sank the chance at real grown-up conversation like a lead balloon.
How long are you allowed to use the "I'm sorry, I have a new baby" excuse when you make an idiot out of yourself?