I can do lots of things. I can write some kick-ass haiku. I can bargain shop like a mad-woman. I can do math in my head. I can read really fast. I cannot, however, cook well. Not at all. The picture above was taken by Thomas in an attempt to capture my inability to cook. See, on more than one occasion Thomas has come home to smoke and the scent of charred food in our kitchen. I burn lots of things. Steaks, hamburger helper, scalloped potatoes (see above pic). I undercook lots of things. Pizza, fish, chicken, biscuits. I am a menace in the kitchen. To be honest, I’d rather clean the kitchen than cook in it.
The story of the scalloped potatoes pretty much sums up my cooking abilities. One night I made a boxed scalloped potato casserole. It was pretty simple. I boil water, add the packets, and bake. After it was finished, I took it out and set it on the stove to cool. But, guess what? It didn’t cool. It actually seemed to get hotter and hotter. I noticed it steaming, and then bubbling, and then smoking over the course of about 10 minutes. Perplexed, I walked over to see what was going on only to realize I had left the stove on from when I boiled the water. That meant they were cooking the whole time. I scooted them back off the burner and BAM! the whole dish exploded. Scalloped potatoes and glass covered the kitchen. We went to Cici’s which has now become our favorite “Jenna-burned-the-dinner-so-let’s-get-out-of-the-house spot.”
Oh well. At least I still have haiku.
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